1.Bathtub
I am washing my hair with soap
I am sitting down in the shower
It is this dirty type of clean
That keeps me trapped in here for hours
Still I scrub and scrub until my body bleeds
Convince myself I am coming clean
Forget and ignore who I used to be
That kid is never coming back
Relax my muscles
And all of a sudden I am scared.
All of a sudden I can't breathe.
All of a sudden I am nothing
In this moment
You are everything
She says can you feel that？
Oh, what a marvelous sensation
She says could you please take me off speaker phone
This is a private conversation
And I am washing my hair with soap
Yes I am washing my hair with soap
Yes I am washing my hair with soap
Yes I am washing my hair with soap, with soap
But there is air inside of my lungs
And it is keeping me afloat
He says his grandpa's in the mafia
He is the nicest guy I know.
So I will run and run
Maybe drive my car
Baby, look at me now, I have come so far
And I don't know where my family's from
But I've got this stereotypical temper
I cannot shake
Relax the muscles in my face
And all of a sudden I am scared.
All of a sudden I can't breathe.
All of a sudden I am nothing
In this moment
You are everything
She says can you feel that？
Oh, what a mervelous sensation
She says could you please take me off speaker phone
This is a private conversation
And I am washing my hair with soap
Yes I am washing my hair with soap
Yes I am washing my hair with soap
Yes I am washing my hair with soap, with soap
2.Legit Tattoo Gun
My head has thoughts.
What a ridiculous way to start.
She said, 'Well, what about my chest？
Or, more specifically, my heart.'
Whenever I am alone or feeling lonely,
I pretend I can play the drums inside my head and I am good.
They love these songs.
They love my songs.
But I am not a dirty god,
and I don't have a dirty body.
And I am alone only half the time.
The other half, I am only hiding.
And she was getting high.
Yeah, she was smoking pot.
I'm pretty sure I'm the only guy she's hooked up with tonight.
But probably, oh, probably not.
Who did I think I was？
Who did I think I could be？
Oh, how dare me.
Oh, how dare me.
And there's a voice in the back of my head.
In the back of my head, says：
'Let him be, just let him be happy.'
I'm gonna go crazy.
I am the water, in the puddle in the shade of a tree.
When I freeze over, you are the sun.
You cannot touch me.
And the tree feels bad.
I can tell by the way it felt.
But it still won't move, so the ice won't melt.
No, it won't move, so the ice won't melt.
But I am not a dirty god,
and I don't have a dirty body.
And I am alone only half the time.
The other half, I am only hiding.
Keep my body alive.
Keep my arms reaching out towards anyone.
But I am not a dirty god,
and I don't have a dirty body.
And I am alone only half the time.
The other half, I am only hiding.
And we were getting, hahahahaha, high.
And I was smoking pot.
I'm pretty sure I am the only guy she's hooked up with tonight.
But probably, oh, probably not.
3.Hooped Earings
4.Maps
There is a map in my room on the wall of my room and I've got
big, big plans
But I can see them slipping through almost feel them slipping
through
The palms of my sweaty hands
And I move slow,
Just slow enough to make you uncomfortable
You say I hate you, you mean it
And I love you sounds fake
It's taken me so long to figure that out
I used to love the taste, I would do anything for it
Now I would do anything to get the taste out of my mouth
And you're so confident,
But I hear you crying in your sleeping bag
But you were broken bad yourself
And you were mad as hell, you felt
If you had done anything with anyone else
It would have worked out so well
But you are an artist
And your mind don't work the way you want it to
One day you'll be washing yourself with hand soap in a public
bathroom
And you'll be thinking, how did I get here？
Where the hell am I？
If the roles were reveresed, you could have seen me sneaking up
Sneaking up from behind
She sees these visions, she feels emotion
She says that I cannot go
she sees my plane in the ocean
And what about your friends
don't you love them enough to stay？
And I say if I don't leave now
Then I will never get away
Let me be a blue raft
On the blue sea I'll blend right in
There is a map in my room on the wall of my room
I've got big big plans
And I can see them falling through, almost feel them slipping
through
The palms of my sweaty hands
But you were broken bad yourself
And you were mad as hell, you felt
If you had done anything with anyone else
It would have worked out so well
But you are an artist
And your mind don't work the way you want it to
One day you'll be washing yourself with hand soap in a public
bathroom
And you'll be saying, how did I get here？
Where the hell am I？
If the roles were reveresed, you could have seen me sneaking up
Sneaking up from behind
5.Looking Like You Just Woke Up
6.Mountain
7.Rhode Island
8.The Beers
There's Beer
In coffee mugs, water bottles, and soda cups
And it's clear, as the wondows I came through
That you
Are in one of those moods
And I am in one of them too
And it's hard, to communicate, anything
I will remember that summer
As the summer I was taking steroids
Cause you like a man with muscles
And I like you
It's the 'cops are comming in' type of sobering up
It's a girl that never learned that I could not give enough
My friends are happy, I'm happy, I've learned to adapt
To this darker kind of humor, I can still hear em' laugh
And ther is beer
It is in coffee mugs, water bottles and soda cups
And it's clear as the window I came through
I will remember that summer
As the summer I was taking steroids
Cause you like a man with muscles
And I like you
And it's an arial view from your house to my room
And it's an arial view from your house to my room
And I am looking through your windows
And I am trying not to stare
I'm holding on to hope I'm sure was never even there
But it's an arial view
Your house, my room
As the summer I was taking steroids
As the summer I was taking steroids
As the summer I was taking steroids
9.Father
I have this dream that I am hitting my dad with a baseball bat
And he is screaming and crying for help
And maybe halfway through it has more to do with me killing him
Then it ever did protecting myself
And I believe that yeah, dad, maybe no one is perfect
But it seems that you were pushing your luck
It just sucks it played out like this：
A terrible movie and you can tell none of the actors even give a
fuck
But you look good tonight girlfriend,
Can I sleep in your bed？
And when I crawl out in the morning,
Can I stay inside your head？
'Cause you were high school
And I was just more like real life
And you were okay, okay as a girlfriend
But I was just more like his wife
I'll do the pushups
I'll wear the makeup
I'll do whatever he wants all night
'Cause you were okay, okay as a girlfriend
But I was just more like real life.
A long, long time ago my great, great, great, great grandfather
took something that did not belong to him
And that is why today there is an eagle in my veins
I am part Native American
And I am leaving as soon as I come,
As soon as I come you will probably forget my name
I hope I fall asleep at the wheel and crash my car (on the way
home)
Or I could just stay here, because
you look good tonight girlfriend,
Can I sleep in your bed？
And when I crawl out in the morning,
Can I stay inside your head？
'Cause you were high school
And I was just more like real life
And you were okay, okay as a girlfriend
But I was just more like his wife
I'll wear the makeup
I'll do the pushups
I'll do whatever he wants all night
'Cause you were okay, okay as a girlfriend
But I was just more like real life.
(More like real life!)
10.The Boredom Is The Reason I Started Swimming. It's Also The Reason
I Started Sinking
Foreign countries,
Hardwood floors and trying to sleep,
Foreign Languages,
On all three channels of TV.
I don't want no drama or baggage,
Don't tell me complicated stories
About who you used to be but are different
and it changes a person completely.
And I am not sure that I want
Any single part of this
Any single part of any of this shit.
'Cause everybody pays,
Everybody's head is in the news
You're part of a program.
Get with the program.
'Cause everybody comes and falls asleep,
And lies awake, pretends to be sleeping.
You're not even sleeping.
You're prob'ly even listening.
Keep it simple and honest,
Stop crying, you're an adult.
I could stand up, I could man up,
It's just so convenient to be fragile.
This pain is constant and sharp,
Watching the signals that you send.
I wanna feel lethal on the inside,
I wanna read American Psycho again.
But I am not sure that I want
Any single part of this
Any single part of any of this shit.
'Cause everybody pays,
Yeah, everybody's head is in the news
You're part of a program.
Get with the program.
'Cause everybody comes and falls asleep,
And lies awake, pretends to be sleeping.
You're not even sleeping.
You're prob'ly even listening.
You're not even sleeping.
You're prob'ly even listening, even listening.
'Cause everybody pays,
Yeah, everybody's head is in the news
You're part of a program.
Get with the program.
'Cause everybody comes and falls asleep,
And lies awake, pretends to be sleeping.
You're not even sleeping.
You're prob'ly even listening.
You're not even sleeping.
You're prob'ly even listening, even listening to me.
11.Flashlight
12.Swimming Pool
There's comfort in the bottom of a swimming pool
I'm holding my breath for you
There's no doubt in my mind that if you could then you would try
To crack my ribcage open and pull my heart right through
There's comfort in the bottom of a swimming pool
I'm holding my breath for you
There's no doubt in my mind that if you could then you would try
To crack my ribcage open and pull my heart right through
But I'm a creature of a culture that I create
I'm the last one on the dance floor
As the chandelier gives way
And I am permanently
Preoccupied with your past
I've been around long enough now
To know that the good things never last
They never last.
There's comfort in the silence of a living room
The TV is on for you
Hide in your basement while your house burns down
Your teeth are loose inside of your gums
They will eventually fall out
Follow an orange extension cord under a carpet, to a closet door
Feeding the black light that will someday make me very, very,
very, very, very rich.
But I'm a creature of a culture that I create
And I'm the last one on the dance floor
As the chandelier gives way
And I am permanently
Preoccupied with your past
I've been around long enough now
To know that the good things never last
They never last.
How low is your self esteem
And how low could it possibly be？
I know, I know you're in love with me
And I've been ignoring you
I will stop cutting my pants into shorts
I will address the issues I cannot ignore
And I will do the things I think you might like
And I will be alone probably the rest of my life.
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